The Map Is Not The Territory

The late Catholic priest and psychotherapist Anthony de Mello in his book The Song of the Bird recalls a story of an explorer who returns to his people, who are eager to know about the Amazon. There is no way he can convey in words his experience of the beauties and dangers of his journey, so he urges them to go and find out for themselves. To guide them he draws a map of the river. The people eagerly study the map and become experts on all the information contained within the map. They eventually come to believe they know everything about the river.

Leaders and followers alike would do well to remember that the map is not the territory. Knowing and experiencing are not identical. Leaders are not simply to provide followers with guidance but are to help followers gain experience. In this way followers attain the experience necessary to lead others through the territory.

Developing new leaders is not the only benefit of learning from experience. It is when you lead from your own experience that you are perceived to be an authentic leader.

Find Your Courage

Courage is to act in spite of our fear. Fear causes us to consider the consequences of our actions so we do not take foolish risks. Fear can also paralyze us. Courage gives us the power to make choices.

To lead is to create that which does not yet exist. Leaders are change agents. Change generates confusion as we move from the known into the unknown. To clear the confusion we must acquire the competency needed to handle our new circumstances. Increased competency gives us a sense of control over the situation. We gain confidence in our ability to influence events. This bolsters our courage. We become more comfortable with our new circumstances. This can lead to complacency. At this point we either move ourselves into the next stage of change or change finds us. The progression is as follows:

Change → Confusion → Competency → Control → Confidence → Courage → Comfort
→ Complacency → Change

Following are exercises that can help reinforce your courage.

Exercise:
Think of a time you displayed courage. What was the source of your courage? Perhaps it was someone who inspired you. It may have been your values and beliefs that drove you to act. You may have trusted in your skills to give you the ability to handle the situation. Your past experience in similar circumstances may have reinforced your courage to act. Music may have aroused your courage. Identify the sources of your courage.

Fear is in our minds.

Fantasized Driving
Experiences Ourselves
Appearing Unconscious
Real By
Thinking

Rationalize = Rational Lies

Exercise:
To experience the mind/body connection associated with fear, do the following exercise. Close your eyes and recall something that causes you anxiety. When you feel anxious, focus on the physical sensation associated with your anxiety without thinking about what is making you anxious. When you focus on the physical sensation disconnected from the thought causing the anxiety, the anxious feeling will dissipate. Your anxiety will flare as soon as you recall the anxious thought. Use this technique to return yourself to calm whenever you feel anxious.

Our fear is caused by our attachments. We are afraid of losing those things we are attached to. We cling to possessions, lifestyle, self-image, popularity, life. We are controlled by a myriad of attachments. Simply becoming aware of what it is we are afraid of losing can help loosen the grip of those attachments and calm our fears.

Exercise:
Think of something you needlessly feared in the past. List what you had feared would happen. Check which fears were realized. Most likely little if any of what you feared materialized. Use this exercise to strengthen your courage. Before entering into an activity that sparks your anxiety, list everything negative you imagine will happen to you if you proceed to do that which scares you. After completing the anxiety-producing activity, return to your list and identify all your fears that materialized. As you repeatedly discover that your imagination is more fearsome than reality, you are less likely to allow your fears to hinder you from taking action when faced with future challenges.

Exercise:
Linda Adams in her book Effectiveness Training for Women suggests listing 10 situations that you don’t act on due to anxiety. Rank the situations you listed with #1 designating the situation that causes you the least degree of anxiety and #10 your most anxiety producing situation. Enter into your #1 situation and work down your list. As you confront each challenge, you will strengthen your courage to face the next circumstance on your list. This exercise can help you to become more courageous.

Exercise:
To help you face a challenge, use the Read, Talk, Test technique suggested by Doug Hall in Making The Courage Connection. Create three columns on a page. In the first column list what you could read to provide you with the information and inspiration you need to move forward on your challenge. The second column is for listing people you could talk to who will provide you with support. The third column is for identifying small actions you could take to build your confidence.

Exercise:
According to Hall, excuses are apologies for not having courage. We use excuses to justify our lack of action. To overcome your anxiety about tackling a large endeavor, divide the challenge into small manageable actions. Schedule when you will undertake each activity. Track your progress and reward yourself as you complete each task.

May the above exercises help you to follow the advice of Eleanor Roosevelt, who said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”